Forgiving do Helps: To Forgive is Divine

There are two things that may be very difficult for any ordinary human being to do --- to say the words, “I am sorry”, and to forgive.  As the popular saying goes, “to err is human, to forgive is divine”.  This saying seems to confirm the general belief that it is rather impossible to forgive. 

For, indeed, how can one forgive a lover who betrayed her; or a father who sexually molested his daughter?  How can a child forgive her mother who intentionally abandoner her, her own flesh and blood? How can one forgive another who mercilessly murdered a loved one?  Or one who took everything, possessions and integrity, included, from the other?  Only saints can do these things.  Probably, this is the reason why they have become saints in the first place. 

However, unless one learns to forgive, he will not be able to have a steady disposition of himself.  He will remain bitter and angry, and he will find no peace.  And neither will he experience true happiness.  Not only that, having all these bitterness and anger locked up in one’s self can be damaging, physically, as well as mentally.  People who have not learned to forgive or people who are unable to forgive may feel a certain heaviness in their hearts.  Chest pains, breathing problems, skin break-outs, and other health concerns may be direct results of unreleased anger and tension. This is what makes forgiving more important.  For his own personal benefit, therefore, one must learn how to forgive. 

But learning to forgive is not easy. And almost always, it takes time.  It takes time to heal the wounds and healing takes longer if the wounds are lodged so deep into the recesses of one’s heart.  Learning to accept the situation may be the first step to learning how to forgive.  But learning to accept the situation may require space.  It needs a sort of diversion while the healing is taking place. During this time, the aggrieved person may try to tear himself away from the very thing that causes his pain. He may go to a far away country or somewhere near, but not in the exact place where the hurting took place or where he is likely to remember the hurt all over again. He may enjoy himself with fun activities or get involved with community affairs.  He may choose to go camping or he may spend time in hospitals. Hopefully, he will begin to see that he is not the only person hurt and that there are basically a more people with worse problems than he has. 

Forgiving also will take a lot of self-control to avoid things that may hurt another.  Forgiving will also require a good amount of will power, patience and determination to be able to move on. 

But once a person can say that he has truly forgiven, he will feel as if a thorn has been plucked and there will no longer be any feelings of heaviness in his chest.  Most importantly, he will experience peace.